This is my first blog. It took me a couple of months to take the time and gather the courage to write one. I like to write, yet in the past it's been for my own personal journaling. As I delve into why I have pushed this to the side, many things have come up. Although, I feel I am courageous, right smack in the middle staring at me, is that I am scared for you to really see me. The imperfect me, the one who sometimes wants to curl up in a ball and hide. The me who wonders what the heck she thinks she is doing. This is not news to me, as I have been acknowledging that feeling within me for a time. Can I allow myself to be more vulnerable and express my truth? I express myself freely, when I feel I can trust the people around me. Ha...that self-percieved safety. What it really comes down to is deceiving myself into thinking I have control. What if let go of that control? Holy moly, my world will unravel, NOT! says the very wise part of me. Control is an illusion. I have choices. I choose everyday not to replay those tapes or if those tapes come to surface I begin to notice why I am fearful. There is this voice at times that says, it won't be good enough. I have this pattern of jumping into my knowing then slowly retreating into silence. In the silence, in the past, I have been judging myself, and when that became too painful, I would start judging you. This is another step of me courageously surrendering to the truth within me. The truth is, I love to share, to be connected, and my heart longs to give and receive love fully. I choose to blossom everyday, to boldly step out of the silence. Will you join me?