I have had a day of letting go and just now the book that came to me as I sat down in my apartment's laundry room (they have a book self) called The Dance of Anger (a woman's guide to changing the patterns of intimate relationships) by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.
I opened the book up and began to read
"We are never the first in our family to wrestle with a problem, although it may feel that way. All of us inherit the unsolved problems of our past; and whatever we are struggling with has its legacy in the struggles of prior generations. If we do not know about our own family history, we are more likely to repeat past patterns or mindlessly rebel against them, without much clarity about who we really are, how we are similar to and different from other family members, and how we might best proceed in our own life.
Using our anger effectively requires first and foremost a clear "I" and women have been blocked from selfhood at every turn. We cannot hope to realize the self, however, in isolation from individuals on our family tree. No book-or psychotherapist, for that matter-can help us with this task if we stay cut off from our roots. Most of us react strongly to family members-especially our mothers-but we do not talk to them in depth and gather data about their experience. We may know virtually nothing about the forces that shaped our parents' lives as they shaped ours, or how our mothers and grandmothers dealt with problems similar to ours. When we do not know these things, we do not know the self. And without a clear self, rooted in our history, we will be prone to intense angry reactions in all sorts of situations, in response to which we will blame others, distance ourselves, passively comply, or otherwise spin our wheels."....
The words came out clear as the paper it was printed on. It has spoken in ways that is clear for me to understand, we are at a definite age of awareness and consciousness as we decide to move towards coming together as sisters of all races, colour and nationalities. I hope that my strength in moving forward with my life, I have not offended anyone with words spoken or my manners and I wish them nothing but the best.
I do believe these words are not just intended for women. Change the words women and grandmothers to men and grandfathers and I believe they can relate as well.
I understand some women or men may not relate or have this inherit in them as we are on our own journeys in life. Though I do see that getting together and moving ourselves forward with a greater understanding of the human inheritance can assist us in coming together.
Much love and light.