A fearful thought appears: I feel lonely now. More thoughts: Does that mean I won't stay in Prescott, AZ (my home away of sorts, staying in a motel), for 1.5 weeks? Does that mean my goal has failed? What if I continue to feel this way?
At this point, I realize (realization is my key) I could continue to spiral down, by having more of these thoughts.
My muscle of joy has become stronger to that of fear. This is the moment of 'do I choose to spiral down into a depressed placed, (NO!!!), or do I choose to process up (as Sarah Amos says: process up)? I choose the latter. Yeh!!! I've saved myself yet again.
I'm back in the present. Walking around smiling. What a miracle, each time I bring myself back to present. I like to say, "Freedom (peace), is just 1 thought away."
If someone told me these things, 10-15 years ago, I wouldn't have had this concept embodied. It was only until I began doing The Work (The Work of Byron Katie - the 4 questions), that I was able to get back to present, right away. It's been about 7 years that I've been living mostly in the present.
As some of you have read, I lived my life, mostly in fear, anxiety, and depression. I didn't know what being in the present was. It was like being friends with a man. I didn't have a real concept of that. Other times, I was in the state of elation with a false sense of intimate relationships, whether platonic or not. And some times I was actually out of my head. (The world didn't evolve around me.) Hallaluyah!
I have much compassion for those that suffer. Some of you have read, that one of my closest buddies, a young male, suffers with a few severe mental illnesses as well as retardation. The reason he likes hanging with me (besides I'm adventurous and FUN), is because I am calm and then he's calm.
When he goes on another rant about moving to Seattle by himself or whatever (For him, this is unreality, because he's severely disabled,), I tell him I don't want to hear about it. He laughs, because at that point he has returned to present moment and that's where he's at peace.
Thank you for taking your precious time to read this, sisters. SMILING.