Not so long ago I was a nervous wreck when even the idea of meeting somebody new arose, then came dashing along my fabled White Knight, only to ride off into the sunset, as Knights do with not so very much more than a glance and a smile in reality, but in my mind ………….well perhaps we will not go there!
Ladies of a certain age, I believe the song goes, well lets be honest it does not get any easier as the clock ticks on. We look in the mirror and see an attractive 30 something (well ok 40 something femme fatale) but what is the world looking at, especially through beer coloured spectacles? The inner core and the outer image do not gel, so two options go cry into another G and T (hic) or make the most of what we have (and we have a lot, even when we think we don’t). Why do we seek perfection, when no one else expects it from us and more important we don’t expect it from others? Honestly girlies would we be totally put off by, a beer barrel rather than a six pack, contact lenses or glasses rather than 20/20 vision, the odd denture or two???? Ok, not a pretty picture, but there are not many Mr Banderas’s in the world!!!!!
Learning to accept myself in the next era of my life has been a while coming, and scary, but now for the first time in 24 years, I have nobody to answer to, nobody to be responsible for, I can start to spread my wings. My teenage daughter is fine staying at a mate’s or boogying all night - but guess what, so can I!!!!( much to her disbelief!) Not having to be back for babysitters, parents, or work in the morning, (having organised my work not to start before 10am).
The other day after creeping in at 5.30am, teenage daughter soundo, I snuggled up in bed with a huge smile on my face, how good does it feel to be sparkling inside once again, and the inner sparkle always shines through! There are still a lot of firsts out there for me to conquer (not that I wish to climb Mount Everest – well not at the moment) My newest “hobby” is Poker, 4 weeks ago I had never even seen it played, now “hussler” is my middle name, taking up new challenges also gets me meeting new people.
Feeling scared of the unknown, or taking the first step in faith is a giant step for us all, but we do not need to know where the whole road is leading, just start to enjoy each journey that life brings along, don’t just think of the destination we can all miss so much along the way. Fear can stop you in your tracks, or it can exhilarated you into pastures new, we have all faced fear on many levels and many times and have lived to tell the tale …. So what is one more???? And you never know how your life and sparkle may change and grow with just the next encounter…….