So many times I have sought Peace in my life with no relief. I have reached out hoping someone else knew the answer, even following them, hoping that they knew more than me. What I found is that they could sometimes give me a different perspective, however they could not change my inner conflicts.
I grew up in the war in Northern Ireland. My life changed overnight from that of a typical childhood to one of violence.
In the beginning I could not understand why some of my friends could not play with me, my friends now telling me that their parents told them I was dirty. I could not understand why this had happened, and then war became familiar, and eventually part of my everyday life and then it became normal.
My family home was bombed many times, my father’s business burned, destroyed because of our religious beliefs, we were catholic. My sisters and I were threatened and spat on as we walked to school by Protestants. I recall one evening while walking with my Mom, a crowd surrounded us chanting, “Get out you Catholic bastards. Surrender or you will die.”
I was terrified.
As a child I thought that someone would find out what is happening in Belfast and they would come and help us. However no one arrived as I had watched in the movies. In fact one night after our home was bombed yet again, I ran to the front door screaming for help. What I saw was a man watching the scene, he was smoking a cigarette and smiling I knew he was admiring his work of successfully bombing my home, our eyes met, he laughed taking another puff of his cigarette and started walking up the street laughing. I was 10.
I remember my first thought was I hate you whoever your are and then I realized even at that young age that war is recycled hate and I decided in that moment I would not to be part of this hatred.
I have devoted my life to Peaceful missions, i.e. The Peace Movement In Ireland, The BraveHeart Women Harmony Project in Palestine/Israel, Illiteracy projects for children in US one of which was The Box it Program through Pizza Hut which is still in schools today, I helped make schools safer for children with my CPR and Safety Business, I am also nurse and I teach easeful living in my coaching practice and an Anchor in the BHW community.
Yet this thing called Peace can sometime escape me.
What a small word for such a big topic. So what is it really? Maybe it is a state of being or is just a perception of how we want life to look or is it something we are trying to control? I wonder!
One definition of Peace is; freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. Yet maybe Peace is a state I will never really know all the time, yet I know I can always find those gentle, peaceful moments.
Peace is something that we are!
Peace is NOT lying down and being a doormat, allowing others to decide your life for you as you live a slow death.
Peace is strong and powerful. It is the part of us that declares “no more!” It is the part of us that is wise, the part that is free, the part that no longer judges.
I believe we loose Peace when we use words like them”, “those people”, “I would never”, “they deserve it”, “look what they did” so now I am justified in my actions.
If I allow myself to justify non peace then I know that is a part of me that is asking to be healed , to realign to come back to what is real and true for me.
I cannot create Peace and war at the same time. I can have one or the other.
Even as I write these words I sense the places in me that are crying out to be healed while my mind tells me that this is bullshit. A visceral space allows me to choose a deep breath knowing that I have chosen me in this moment the real me, the one who sees clearly!
I now know that peace is the opinion of each individual person. We cannot create peace while judging someone else to be wrong I know that peace comes from the heart from healing our own pain and taking that one step at a time. Peace is not a destination, it is an evolved process, and it is a journey.
For me to be at Peace I choose to use my awareness, I choose to wake up, come out of my mind and into my heart and to come from a place of gratitude
Recalling some of the moments I felt most at Peace and I know I have has more peaceful moments than not and I enjoy sharing some of these moments with you here.
So what are my peaceful moments?
My Peaceful moments will begin with a breath that bridge between the Divine and myself. The word “Spirtus” is to breathe, and knowing that I have breath floods me with a feeling of a peaceful connection.
Peace is remembering my childhood dog Cindy who was a Corgi. I was about 3 years old. Wow! Even though I don't fully recall with my mind, my body remembers peace with this dog and I feel lighter. Apparently I used to feed her from my spoon. This funny story that has been told to me amuses me and I laugh, as I am quite germ phobic today.
Peace playing with my sisters and childhood friends.
Walking with my father, I did not have a peaceful relationship with my Dad, in fact I did not really like him, he was not at peace and I sensed he was at war daily and I did not understand him in fact I was scared of him.
I do have this memory of him which brings peace to my heart,we would go walking together, I am very young, I remember loving the sound his shoes made on the ground and squeak of the leather, I enjoyed counting our steps, somewhere on our journeyhe would buy me a Bounty Chocolate Bar and we would walk home, no words exchanged just the sound of his shoes. Bounty Bars are still one of my favorite candy bars today.
My grandparents owned a farm. My grandmother was the postmistress for her village and my grandfather also owned a BP petrol station. There are many peaceful moments with them and on this farm. The smell of the country air, my grandmothers home made bread, the fresh vegetables that they grew (my grandfather had a degree in holistic farming). Life was all around me, in the fields, the orchards, the animals.I also loved working in the Post Office, stamping the pension books giving the money over to the adults, even at 9 I knew to be productive and this brought about a peaceful state for me. I miss these moments.
Blackberry picking and eating more berries than I put in my bag.
Major, my golden lab who was everyone’s best friend, his loyalty, calling his name as I got off the bus and him running to meet me.
When a person even a stranger extended a reassuring smile when I was scared or felt lost.
My husband. Knowing that he is my friend, someone I can rely on, someone I can trust, someone who has shown me unconditional love many times. Those peaceful moments of having dinner together, sitting together, sharing a glass of wine together, swimming together, those ordinary moments that bring such peace to me.
The moment I first met my daughter was the moment I knew for sure that God was real, peace flooded my body as I experienced the love that I had just met knowing that God love me this much.
Peace as her Mom as I knew I was a guide to this beautiful girl and I would always be her Mom in this lifetime and nothing could change that. Peace knowing that I loved her no matter what.
12/12/12 at 12:12 as I sit holding the hands of my husband and daughter, no words yet a vibration of wholeness moving around us and through us.
While I sit with a tree, allowing myself to relax to trust nature to listen to sounds or the silences around me knowing all is fine.
I watch my Mom’s body die slowly with cancer.
The cancer having returned after many years of health; knowing that this time she will be leaving. There is nothing I can do to stop this.
I feel the hurt build in me as people tell me that I am lucky that she did not die the first time and I would like to tell them to stop talking as I am finding no comfort in their words.
Peace as I observe this hurt and anger grow within me and I ask how do I release this? How do I be there completely for her?
Peace as I watch my brother lose his best friend wondering how much he understands.
Peace as I watched her final moments, peace as I know that I will never hear her voice again. Peace as she returns back to her home however this time in her coffin so people can make their final respects and goodbyes and it feels like a dream.
Peace as I wait to feel her around me again.
Peace knowing that is no beginning or end to life, that the vibration we are is infinite.Choosing for ourselves, consulting with our higher selves, aligning with what is true.
I am, that I am and that brings such peace.
To bring PEACE to the world I need to look within myself first, PEACE does not come about because I do not like or agree with the behavior of another, it comes from me core, my Essence, my declaration of Peace with no buts and allowing the buts to come to surface so I can heal.
I can no longer claim that I will be at peace “but” there is so much war, unemployment, slavery in the world and I can only feel peace when the world becomes peaceful.
To bring PEACE I must be PEACE, and I wonder if I am just kidding myself.
Peace within myself is something I work on daily with so many buts and I am so grateful that I have been given to the wisdom to see the buts and the traumas so I can heal.
I invite you to sense into your peaceful moments allow yourself to write them, possibly keep a peaceful moments journal so you can know peace and not expect peace to come from outside of you.
I know life can be scary at times however I know that we always get to look at the all of the choices.
How can I live with peace as my upmost intention? Let there be Peace on earth and let it begin with me sounds so easy and yet there are days when I still cannot feel any peace yet I have BHW tool s that allow EASE in m life.
I ask to know Peace is real and know that anything else will send me on a journey of misalignment.
Which path will I follow? Hmmmm, that is easy, I will follow the path that evolves me, grounds me, while using my awareness.
I will begin each day with a oxy breathe allowing EASE and receiving the golden rays of the Divine and I will breath those rays in as I continue my life with grace.
I raise my glass to you as you read my words maybe you will remember those wonderful peaceful moments in your life, those timeless moments that live within all of us.
I invite you to share yours.