This sweet and simple acronym was a gift I received in a recent conversation with a BraveHeart Sister. I felt so delighted with it that I wanted to share it with you. RIA comes with a smile for me, because I remember that in Spanish it means laugh.
RIA stands for the words Resist, Insist, Adapt.
She described to me that she was finding these 3 questions very helpful:
R- resist- What am I resisting?
I- insist- What am I insisting on?
A- adapt- How can I adapt?
Let us explore deeper into each question.
R- What am I resisting?
Why do I want to ask this? When I am stuck in frustration or anger or sadness, it will first provide me with a little distance from the intensity of my feeling. Next it will help me identify my trigger. What is a trigger? It is something usually from the outside world that triggers or sparks an emotion like anger or frustration or sadness. For example last night I felt irritated by the electronic voices of the iPad my granddaughter was listening to in the next room. Does an example of a recent trigger for you come to your mind?
I- What am I insisting on?
This question allows me to connect with what I need and what seems to be the solution. Yesterday evening I insisted she turn of the sound on the iPad. Was that what I really needed? No. What I really needed was a more peaceful environment. Turning off the iPad sound just seemed to be the needed solution. In your example do you remember what you insisted upon?Sometimes what I am insisting upon creates stress or distress for myself and/or those around me. This naturally leads me to the next question.
A- How can I adapt?
I love this question. It reminds me I have the power to decide on an action step from several choices. I have often been told that to reduce stress I must go with the flow. That can feel too passive at times for me or too dis-empowering. Adapting for me implies a shift, taking another look at what is going on and proceeding with steps that are more in harmony with myself, my values, and my surroundings. It implies a collaboration between my inside and my outside. Coming back to my example there are many steps I could choose from. I could explain to her why I need her to turn off the sound. I could enlist my husband to enforce her turning of the sound. I could take the iPad away from her. I could request she use headphones.I could shut the door. I could turn on some peaceful music in my room. I could allow some deep healing breaths and I focus my thoughts on something pleasant. I could sing or chant myself. You can tell some of those choices may actually bring more stress. They do not present me adapting. They are actually me imposing my will on others. Other choices will bring more peace. Sometimes we will test out a few options until we find the one that brings us most joy. Sometimes a combination of several steps will be helpful. Can you think of several options for your situation? I would love to hear from you. May RIA bring more Ease into your days!