I have the joy and delight to be coached by Alison A Armstrong. She teaches men and women to treat each other like heroes and queens as our natural self expression. I was upset because one of my daughters was hurt (she is fine now) and my husband "wasn't doing anything to protect her/us." I was Mama Lion on the hunt, fangs bared. She asked me if I was willing to be coached. (FYI--always, always get permission before you offer coaching, guidance or advice to anyone) I said, "Of course." (My verbal response activates WILL-- as in I am WILLing myself to receive the contribution)
Alison said, "rather than declaring that 'he isn't protecting me!', ask yourself, 'HOW is he protecting me?'"
OMG! Just re-framing it as an inquiry shifted everything. I saw how hard my husband works. I saw the stability and abundance of our finances. I saw his relentless love of our family. I fell in love with my husband all over again. What upset can you shift by asking "How?"