"Life is a series of lessons, which must be lived to be understood." Ralph Waldo Emerson
I had a numerology reading done yesterday and it is something that really opened a door of understanding in me that wasn't there before. I have used the words that "everything happens for a reason" and I have "forgiven" things that have happened to me.
But this reading about my life lessons, really deepened what those clichés mean on such a deeper level. He talked about how we are all here to serve our "highest purpose": Our first transformation in this life was our birth, when everything in our life was a potential. I was born to be a leader.
When I look at my life it has been a series of gas/brake pedals in relation to being a leader. Every time I started in that direction, the mind and soul fears would kick in. I am being selfish, conceited, prideful, aggressive, don't be a bitch, and so on in addition to the self esteem issues of "who am I to .....", then comes in the perfection, the "I can do it myself" and don't need anyone's help.
I am a number 9 for my expression, which is an humanitarian whose purpose is to change the world - I laughed at this as LemonadeMakers picked me at the point when this entered strongest in my cycles. The universe has a wonderful sense of humor - lol
There were so many gems in this reading, but what I wanted to really share was how much this reading has made me appreciate my mother. She has been gone for over 20 years and a lot of "dark night of the soul" stuff happened to me when she passed. A lot of secrets came out into the open and it took me several years to process and forgive things that had happened.
This reading really took me back to these scenes from my past - my childhood was extremely dysfunctional and I didn't really have a childhood because I had to at the age of 4 become the mom of what started out as four younger siblings and became 6 younger siblings. But every scene that played before me, was what I asked for to become a leader that would step forward with LemonadeMakers and change the world. My mom volunteered to give me those lessons, and I knew that on some level, but this reading took it deep into my bones.
The love that she had, to be the person who gave me those lessons is simply mind blowing to me. I thought that I had come to the space years ago of saying "thank you" for all of those lessons. I had only skimmed the surface of what I now feel. I don't think that I have ever loved anyone my whole life to the extent that she has loved me.
I thought when she died that I walked through fire for several years. What she did was teach me how to be a phoenix and be reborn even stronger than before. The fire cleansed me of all of the hurt of the past. It sent me soaring with curiosity about who I was (my life's purpose) and I pursued personal development to discover myself.
It took me to this very moment and this numerology reading to see who I am - to not turn away from it, hide from it, pretend I don't know it. I look at it and it scares me, but I know that I have the courage to do what I came to do.
I can ground myself in the infinite, hahhhhh. I can look at this future and know it is possible because I have all of my wonderful BraveHeart Sisters to be a mirror to me. To help me focus, to see what else is possible, to recognize and release the glitches. To travel with me and sometimes support me and sometimes kick my butt. I can seek change and take hold of new opportunities as they present themselves.
The challenge is to surrender and let the transformative powers of the fire rearrange your life so that you will be on purpose for why you are here.
I invite you to join me in taking a deeper look at your life. To recognize and own your gifts and talents. To say thank you to the lesson givers in your own life. To let the fires cleanse you and renew you.
Love us, Trust us.