This reminds me of a conversation I had recently. A primary rule to growth is our ability to "unlearn and relearn". We all have this foundational core inside of ourselves. The seat of the soul. It is where our primary purpose resides. We have to strip away everything that we identify ourselves as, to see it. All the labels - daughter, sister, wife, mother, your occupation. What remains is the foundational core.
From the moment we are born we are like sponges taking everything in. Everything that we see, hear, feel, touch, observe. It is how we learn language. How we learn the rules of good behavior. How we learn where the boundaries are in all our relationships. We learn how to get people to like us. We learn where our loved ones buttons are, so that we can push them. We learn to put labels on ourselves and everything around us. We learn that we have a light side and a dark side.
A lot of what we learn is an illusion. We all have these moments that I call popsicle stories, based on something I read in a book. The story was about two little girls, who were eating dinner. Their mom said that if they finished everything on their plate, that they could have a popsicle. One girl finished her food, got her popsicle and went outside. The other girl refused to finish her food, and so her mom did not reward her with a popsicle. Years later, the girl who didn't get the popsicle was having problems in keeping her jobs. She was a brilliant scientist, graduating the top of her class. Recruited out of college she landed a wonderful job. Which she self sabotaged herself into losing. She manifested another wonderful job, losing it within a few months. She realized she was the problem.
So she got help, and the popsicle story from her childhood is what emerged. She had taken this story and told herself that her mom loved her sister, not her. She wasn't worthy or loved because she didn't get the popsicle. She had taken a direct hit to her self esteem. So when she manifested these wonderful jobs, she sabotaged herself into getting fired. All an illusion. She knew that her mothers love for her wasn't less than her love for her sister. She had failed to eat her dinner, and the not getting a popsicle was a direct result of her own actions. We all have popsicle stories in our life. We need to unlearn these illusions.
Doctors once believed that bloodletting would cure an illness. Current medical science demonstrates this to be untrue. There are things that we accepted as truth in our youth, which are untrue. We adopted illusions as realities, we need to unlearn them. That is how we can stop the self sabotage. How we repair our self esteem.
We can relearn what is true by having an open mind. As we read or hear something new, we don't have to throw the new thought away. We can store it in a reconsider pile. A reconsider pile is what I am not sure of. My inner core is not rejecting this as false knowledge. It is saying, I don't know if I can believe this today. It is saying maybe tomorrow as I learn other new things, I can reconsider if this new thing could also now be true.
There was a time when I rejected the thought that we pick the parents we are born to. The teaching was that we did so in to experience that we came to earth to learn. When I came across this teaching a second time, I put it in the reconsider pile. I still wasn't sure about this belief, but now I had the space to contemplate it.
The path of learning is a winding road. I realized that some of the things that I blamed my mom for, were actually things that I came here to experience. They were necessary to help me be the person I needed to be to fulfill my true purpose. The concept of life contracts came into my awareness. If my mom and I had a contract together, then she put me in those situations, to have those experiences. I found myself in the position of considering how much she loved me. So much love for me, that she would volunteer to put those lessons in front of me.Now, instead of being mad at my mom, I found myself in the position of thanking her for loving me that much. I moved past anger, into forgiveness and then past forgiveness into gratitude. Even though she had passed on, I found myself in an even closer relationship to her. I realized at that moment that I had accepted this belief as being true. I had to let go of my previous belief to learn a new belief. I had moved this thought from my reconsider pile to my belief pile.
It is possible that this belief will also be let go. My current belief is that as I grow, some of what I needed to know to get to this point in my life, will no longer be needed. When I was a baby, I needed to learn how to roll, then how to crawl, then how to walk. Once I could crawl I no longer needed to roll; once I learned how to walk, I no longer needed to crawl. If we remain in an open mind, then we will "unlearn and relearn" what we need for each new level of enlightenment.
Some questions to muse over. Can you think of times in your life, when you had beliefs that you had to unlearn, and then relearn a new belief ? Are you keeping an open mind? Do you contemplate what the divine has put into your space? Do you have a reconsider pile? What is the most recent change of beliefs that had?