This is so true. I remember when my mom passed away, that in the evenings I would get deluged with emotions of missing her, being mad at her for dying, hurting so much that I just crawled into a ball and cried until I couldn't breathe.
Like a person surfing the waves, we can learn to ride these overwhelming emotions. We may crash and fall off our board, but we can choose to get right back on the ride that wave. To me riding that wave is allowing the emotion to flow right t...hrough us, just like the wave reaches the shore and dissipates into nothing.
I think where grief or anger can get us, is when we don't allow the emotion to flow through, but rather it gets caught in a rip tide that we fight against until it exhausts us. When we battle or wallow in the emotion, it keeps it circling around and around us, until we are so exhausted that it beats us into the sand.
Allowing the emotions to pass through helps us to heal from the hurt. We recover much faster, and we can begin choosing good memories to dwell on. We can progress into appreciation for that time that we had with what we have lost. The truth is that we haven't lost anything. People and things come into our lives, serve their purpose or reason for being there, and then move on to the next thing. The important thing is that we had them in our lives for the time we had.
When we have a bad memory come up, we can just ride the wave to shore and then consciously allow it to fade into foam. As the last bubble of the foam pops, then it is time to let it go. Then we can consciously decide that we want to raise our vibrations up into higher levels out of sadness, grief or anger and start attract good feelings into our space. We always have a choice, even when we think that we don't.
Taking a few deep belly breathes, placing our hands on our heart, and consciously reach for something that will help us raise our awareness into something positive. I always think of a laughing baby, or cute kittens or puppies, or a favorite song like Pharrell Williams Happy song.
It's a great idea to have some images, songs, poems, movies, etc.... in your tool box, so that when you need to raise your vibration you know how to do it quick and easy. As the song says, "happiness is the truth".