I was born, "in pursuit". It takes my Dad to tell you how I didn't crawl or how I cried at 2 years old because I couldn't speak like an adult. Frustration or a sense of being behind, is part of my gift and curse. No matter what I was doing, I was never where I wanted to be. If you’re even a little like me, there’s this wall between who you are every day and who you want to be. There’s this thought that attaining our "carrots" (a degree, an ideal size, a relationship status or a financial status) is the only way to validate our belief in who we truly are inside.
Fortunately, I read some good books and met some good people who helped me to see, yes, ambition and drive may be my nature, but those personality traits should not control my identity. Becoming the woman I want to be is rooted in who I am, right now, as I am. The thing is, the inner self creates its external self. I had to learn that although I don't have the ______(insert carrot here) I want, my dream is me, in utero. Every day, I am birthing myself into the external world.
The possessions, the outside gratification of it all, is always last to arrive. You are a lover, long before you meet your mate. You are a great business person far before you reach your first million. Your ability to sing and create new ideas comes forth far before you release an album or write a book. You have to be it to do it.
Our culture puts a tremendous amount to focus on external wealth rather than internal health. The pressure to have often eclipses our passion for being. We focus on attaining or looking like a million bucks before we focus on feeling like a million bucks. This “lead with the tail” mentality has caused so much illness and confusion. The key now, is to turn that philosophy around. Be what you dream, today. In our collective past, the goals were the carrot dangled before us, the work it took to get that carrot is what made many who they became. Let’s turn it around. Let’s fully believe in and act as who we dream to be, the carrots will come.
My challenge to you (and me) is to let your goals follow your greatness. Writers, write. Dancers, dance. Nurturers, nurture, Business Women conduct business. Let the accolades follow the performance.
Whatever you’re doing at work, at home… whatever you’re wearing or whatever is wearing you, is part of your process. The journey of you should not be lured across time by trophies, notoriety, goals and external wealth. The woman who is on the journey should live a healthy, whole, assured life, no matter how many tiny statues she wins.
Choosing to believe that the woman of your dreams is you, now, is up to you, but I promise if you’re here, reading this, so is she.
I'm a believer in homework so here you go: (I'll show you mine if you show me yours)
Do your "carrots" follow you or do you follow your carrots?
Let's pretend you never attain your "carrots". Who are you without them?
Can you love yourself if you never attain them?
What is your greatest vision of yourself? How close are you to being the woman of your vision?
What can you do today to release more of her?
Are you living a "carrot" free life and loving it? If so, comment below and tell us how you’re doing you, right now!
Stop what you're doing right now and love yourself for all that you are, today! ;-)