meditation is something that i have known for quite some time would be a benefitial addition to my Life. as someone who is generally jumpy and excitable it seemed that stillness and silence went against my very nature. yet there was always something that called me back to it. it's taken me a while to integrate this practice into my Life, but as i continue on this journey what keeps me returning are the fabulous ripple effects i can sense from these moments of genuine introspection.
yesterday i meditated for longer than i ever had before. and after clearing my mind and Heart, i began a very sincere prayer to myself and any guides and energies that were present. i have been dealing with lingering self doubt and a question of whether i was truly at the point in my Life where i needed to be. i was gently calling in a sign and asking to be reconnected with my inner Magic and splendour.
as soon as i was done praying i felt a gentle desire arise. i work as the vice president of my student association at an art school, and this position has allowed me several libertites that other jobs certainly would not have. one of my favourite perks was that there was no dress code. my feelings today were that i wanted to dress as a beautiful Fairy. i was celebrating the day and all the magic that lay within it. after face painting and choosing my favourite wings and crown i felt delighted and ready to face the day.
when i got to school i was appraoched by one of the summer camp staff who had the biggest grin on her face. as she appraoched me she asked "How did you know?" i gave her a puzzled look and she went on to explain. they had been running a childrens art camp at school all summer. the camp was called 'Fairies and Gnomes' and the final display of all their art was happening today. she encouraged me to stop by as the kids would be so excited to see a real live Fairy.
when i arrived at the show in the afternoon i felt completely enchanted. the walls were hung with drawings of magical creatures and descriptions of their qualities. there were tiny Fairy homes built out of wood, pinecones and moss, and little hand felted Fairy dolls inhabiting them. there were bright dazzling paintings of mushrooms and flowers and broad landscapes of forest. as i wandered through the show i was stopped several times to take pictures with the children there. some seemed a bit nervous and shy, while others ran up to me screaming in delight,
this had been the sign i was waiting for and there could be no doubt about it. effortless intuition has placed me into a moment where i shone for no more than my simple Beingness. as i stopped on my way home for groceries, and had a few more laughs and smiles with my fellow surprised grocery shoppers, something i had thought earlier in the morning popped back into my head.
i am sick of pretending. i have spent my whole Life trying to be human but maybe that's not what i really am. being normal felt like a fraud. but being a Fairy was always a gratifying experience. as i walked home i saw less and less humans around me. i saw dragons and elves and wizards and i realized with glee that the entire world was only playing pretend. human was an easy facade. but my Heart became open to the truth of the Magic and possibility that each of us holds within.
where did i belong?
and what time was it?
and this would always be true. i walked forwards with a renewed sense of confidence in the fascinating realm i was Living in.