Have you ever been looking after everyone else so much that you've forgotten about yourself? Have you asked, "Who am I? I've forgotten!"
I was watching a wonderful film about an Armish girl who wanted to go travelling and craved freedom. A young Amish man said to her, what do you dream about? He had already seen the big world and had come back to the Amish life as he had seen the contrast.
I realised how I don't dream about anything anymore. I have been so focussed on making our huge event, the Essex Business Women's Experience a big success for everyone; the attendees, stand holders, speakers, sponsors, my team and the hotel. I'd totally forgotten what I wanted. I was so busy leading up to the event that I went to bed and woke up too exhausted to even think about getting excited about anything!
A lot of mums tell me they no longer know who they are. "I'm only a mum". Maybe a wife, housekeeper, gardener too but not "Rosemary". I've not had children but I think my clients and my therapy business have been my family. I've made serving my clients much more important than serving and caring for myself.
So, once our big event was over, I've spent time, quietly being by myself, having a spiritual reboot with lots of meditations, listening to my favourite gurus, walks on the beach, tending my flowers and time with my dad.
I've asked myself, who do I want to be?
- Is it someone who runs successful events for other woman business owners. If I want to do that, there seems to be little room for anything else. I've settled for an annual event with a good sized grant and lots of sponsorship to pay everyone including me. All totally doable if I get out of my own way and dream a little!
- Do I want to be a therapist practicing Reflexology and Bowen therapy as I have for the last 20 plus years? Yes, it's kind of who I am and now I treat five or ten clients a week, it's so much more fun than when I treated thirty and it really was a job as well as my passion. Now I'm back to the passion and even taught Reflexology for friends and family to a tiny group of women yesterday.
- Do I want to do my money coaching for women? Yes! It's fun, the women grow, laugh together, create a deep connection with themselves, each other and money. It gives me a huge buzz and actually pays very well too. A big yes, I like this.
- I also want to be someone who has a lot of fun and lightness of spirit. My final filter for deciding whether I take on a project or not is will it bring me joy? If I'm not having fun and being fulfilled, how can anyone else be?
So, it's a work in progress. Four weeks on I know I'm happy with a few therapy clients each week. I know I need periods of recuperation and I need to choose my team wisely.
I also listened to a wonderful morning meditation that begins, "This is a really good day. I know this is going to
- Me as Alice Cooper at a fancy dress party last week. It was fun to be the total opposite to me!
be a really good day".
I'm listening to the news less, breathing more, laughing more, being careful who I share my time with and yes, who am I? I've remembered, I'm Rosemary and I rather like her!