You know you are a parent when....
1.You hum wheels on the bus while in the bath. And don't even realise it.
2.You are oblivious to the latest chart busters, but you know the words to the Peppa Pig song!
3.All that you ever watch during the day is Cartoons. Or nothing.
4.A night out means nothing these days.
5.A day out means a trip to the park.
6.You empty your coat pockets and an assorted collection of hair elastics, mini minions out of kinder eggs and tissue.
7.Ditto, your handbag.
8."Now," becomes your life's mantra.
9.Date night means watching catch-up TV while dining-in on the sofa.
10. The only child-free space in the home is the shower. When you are in it. Mostly.
11.All that once belonged to you is now facing a take-over bid from a myriad of books, crayons and construction bricks.
12.You can issue instructions when on the toilet. Simultaneously.
13.cupcakes, cake and custard now mean jelly and ice-cream.
14.And food generally means fish fingers and chips.
15.You leave the house without an iota of make-up on, glowing in the knowledge that you managed to get a brush to the child's unruly locks.
16.You realise that your jeans and the rest of your clothing are a very handy substitute to hand washing. Or hand towels, if you are lucky.
17.You find yourself saying things on a loop. Over and over. And over again.