I lost my cousin a few months ago. She was a vibrant woman with a laughter that echoes in the collective ear of our wounded family. She was hearty and full, all the time. Her loss has quickened us all. We’re reevaluating everything. We’re taking stock of our lives and for me, I’ve been introduced to myself again. The person created by a reaction to outside stimuli and the push to manifest, had to take a seat. The person I’d released in an effort to make my way has been brought to the front and I see so many brilliant colors… I breathe a perfume holy…I savor blessed food and sit still in the bliss of how life feels. I am Present. I am my raw self. I’ve had my eye on a prize for so long, I’ve missed a lot of the now.
The cliché of life being a journey and all about the process was surface level for me. Losing my cousin, “Pooh” awakened me to the gift of now and that there is no process just products of now. I come from a community of ambitious alpha women. We discuss growth, accomplishments, healing, past pains and future plans. We are women who push boundaries and fight valiant battles against limitations of all kinds, but what most of us fail to do is be, here, now.
There’s a song by Ray Montagne called “Be Here Now” and it blesses my soul. “Don’t let your mind get weary and confused Your will be still, don’t try Don’t let your heart get heavy child Inside you there’s a strength that lies” We try so much. We sacrifice our peace at the altar of growth. If we remove the reaction, whether it be a reaction to what someone else has done, whichever -ism is being applied to you, whatever lack you struggle with, if we let that go, we can have the wealth of now. Each moment of now is the building block that those highlight moments are made of. Those dormant, what-am-I-going-to-do times, which we lumber through with disdain, they set us up for birthing in spring.
We live in a unique time where most people will at least try their dream out. We can ALL be OPRAH! So possibility beckons most of us, and if allowed, it can eat your presence, shadow your now, burn your stillness and bark during your quiet times. The gestation that’s required to turn a young student into a master teacher seems like purgatory in today’s culture. So many doors have been opened by the internet and so has the chance of overnight success. This possibility has turned time into a work horse. Sitting still, listening and waiting are all assets that we devalue by scrolling through our phones. My appeal today is that we rest in those inactive moments. Allow the quiet, the stillness, to unravel the day’s work. Let quiet backdrop the sound of your spirit asking for attention. Take a long look at your child’s face, at your husband’s posture. We’re missing subtle messages making too much noise. The peaceful hum that clears the mind can’t be heard. So much of what we are “accomplishing” in our day-to-day lives soak up our attention. We miss delicate opportunities to do work that truly matters.
The other day I stopped running around my house, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, doing my hair, just doing and I took a deep long look into my daughter���s eyes. Ten seconds in, her shoulders dropped, her face curled into a warm smile, she pulled me close and sweet. I relished in how much I love her and she responded by turning into a marshmallow. She whispered, “We need more time together, not doing anything or being busy but just enjoying each other.” I smiled, agreed, and then soaked her into my arms. I needed to hear that, I needed to see her and rest in my love for her for just a moment. What hidden treasures lie in your stillness? What faint cries are you missing in your haste? What joys and pleasures are being muted by an over indulged reaction to someone else’s belief? What flavors and fragrances are you taking for granted? What are you losing in the quest to have? What product are you truly creating with your now? My request is that you stop, just for a moment. Allow the power of trust and peace to feed and fuel your ambitions. Expand each peaceful moment with your full presence and create a now so beautiful that its product surpasses your ideals. Be here, right now and allow now to be more than enough.