In order to feel closer to you, and for the sake of sharing and receiving, I choose to be vulverable.
Here goes: Recently, Sonia, my doggy, and I went to Prescott, AZ, 4 hours drive from Tucson, as a get-a-way for 4 days. At 1 point in the trip I felt lonely, an old feeling that doesn't come up so much, at least not with this much emotion. Here we are in an amazing suite, living like queens, and I'm crying and judging myself for spending this money,and leaving home, to feel down. And then I'm feeling jealous of the 2 hotel "neighbors" seemingly having a great rapore in the hall. I'm thinkin', "Oh, great, now I'm feeling jealous," (another "old" emotion that I haven't felt with much magnitude,for some time).
Then, I remember to feel into the feelings. I allow them to be, no matter how painful,and experience them without judgment. Magically, in a way, they dissipate. Every time I love and accept myself, no matter how awful I feel, and allow..., I experience peace. And opportunity, freedom, choice and the wanting to live life fully again. The loneliness and jealousy are gone.
Last night at the harmony circle that Cathrine, and others attended, I felt this magic again. Because, I had cleared something on the trip and now I was taking in the benefits of feeling yet closer to the women than ever before.
Back to the hotel: Sonia had helped a lot with the clearing as she licked my tears. I knew then, and again, my best friend is always there for me, especially, when I'm there (here) for myself. Here's to our beloved animals, and to you for reading this. Love, susan