When I was child all medicine tasted ghastly. My mom would give us cod liver oil everyday and on the occasions when we were sick and she could not treat us with her knowledge of home remedies we would receive medicine from a doctor. All medicines were in liquid form and it was dreaded affair. (The fact is medicine just did not taste good when I was a child as there where no sugar or colors added)
My Mom would give us very diluted orange juice to wash this medicine down stating if it tasted good it would not help me get better.
Other things I was told when I was younger were: “If its easy then its not worth doing,” "People who look for the easy way are just lazy,” "There will be twice as many tears for any laughter" and so on. Then as a younger adult the message was “No pain no gain."
I am sure you are seeing a theme here, a pattern, imprinting at its best.
Now I know intellectually that none of the above are true and the people sending these message to me where doing their best to get a young child to shallow something that did taste good, or they were making money from my imprints.
However lately I have been sensing that I have been resisting releasing these old imprints completely.
You may be wondering why and the answer is I only discovered this on a deeper level yesterday and because there is a part of me that was so imprinted with pain, pain can feel normal to me.
The truth is I have been secretly resenting people who move through life easily, who let things go quickly. Resisting me fully.
I ask myself, what might happen if I could just fully release myself from the past with no ever going back, just a distant memory.
Now this was a low level of resenting, an undercurrent of energy, very sneaky and sometimes even disquised as a cheer leader. In some strange way this resenting has allowed me to feel a sense of belonging, to fit in.
I ask myself if I resented others, will others then resent me for living my truth? What if I get to live a life like no one else?
Is it really ok not to fit in?
These next steps feel scary to me, that I would die to that part of my life completely and it would feel/taste ghastly. On a deeper level I know releasing this last little twist with my past will taste delicious and feel so good and yet resistants yells ”no pain, no gain, you need to suffer at least a little."
I breathe while grounding myself and already the tears wet my eyes and I breathe again continuing to move that stuck energy as my EGO makes it last pleas “see it feels bad, tastes bad” and then it dissolves as it realizes it has just outwitted itself.
I scan my body to see if it has been fully released, I chant my wholeness words, I allow breaths, I ground as I receive my new imprint.
I know none of this is either true or false just belief systems with no real knowing.
It feels good, tastes good and the pain, I know I can breath through that, hahhhhhhhhhh.