The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. Fran Lebowitz – Social Studies (1977)



Talking has decided to engage Listening in a game of Ping-Pong. They volley for who will serve first and to her delight Talking wins.

She sends a well-placed sentence over the net and is standing poised and ready to have Listening return it, enhanced by his contribution.

Listening is ready. He receives this first sentence and responds effortlessly with a simple flip of his wrist, sending the sentence back over the net without adding anything.

Talking decides to put a little spin on the next volley. She increases her speed, volume, and word content, and adds some twists and turns to the message. Listening continues to return what is sent without adding or subtracting anything to the original content.

He is playing the game the way he plays it best, by sending over easy responses of affirmative head nodding and one syllable words like oh, hmm and yeah.

The two players continue to approach the game in their usual, habitual way.

Talking expends more energy and adds more animation, while Listening appears to be keeping his outward involvement at a minimum.

Talking is starting to get tired. She is getting caught up in over-responding to Listening’s returns, which lack enthusiasm but contain enough energy to keep the game going.

Talking is becoming a bit frantic and is rapidly losing confidence. She started out exuberantly participating but that initial energetic outlay is now working against her. She is putting too much spin on her sentences and as a result, they travel back to her in an erratic and distorted form.

Listening is simply allowing what was sent to him to hit his side of the table. All he believes is required of him is to send it back, unaltered, to the sender. This strategy requires little output from him and maximum return on his investment because it wasn’t really his initial idea to play anyway.

Actually, he has a lot on his mind. He has been mulling over a few problems that had captured his attention early in the week. He placed these concerns in a compartment of his mind reserved for ruminating. It didn’t occur to him to bring any of this up for outside discussion with anyone. Since he views himself as an excellent problem solver, he knows that he will eventually decide what to do on his own.

The game has been continuing for quite some time now. It is time for Listening to serve. He picks up his paddle and positions himself to start the volley. He stops for a moment and realizes that he isn’t really interested in keeping the game going if he has to generate the conversation.

He looks over at Talking as he lays his paddle down on the table. “I don’t seem to be able to continue. I don’t know where my energy is, but I really need to take a break right now.”

Talking is taken by surprise and feels perplexed. A series of questions quickly formulate in her mind and line up like bullets in the chamber of a handgun, ready to be rapidly fired.

As she opens her mouth to speak, a cautionary thought jumps into her mind. “Don’t speak!” it warned. “Be quiet for a moment,” it continued. “Put your attention on Listening and pause. Just pause. Do nothing, say nothing and just be with what you are being told.”

Talking put down her paddle and let the questions evaporate from her mind. She didn’t say anything. She opened her ability to really see and hear her partner. She put herself in his shoes. She listened.

Listening felt seen and truly heard. He felt closer to Talking than he had for quite some time.

As a result, he took a risk and began to open his mind and heart to her in a way that was new for him. He invited and allowed her to enter more deeply into his inner world, which was what she was unsuccessfully trying to make happen through control rather than acceptance and receptivity.

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Accepting one's own individuality and living authentically, transforms us and all that we touch. Dr. Clarissa Pinkola-Estes


Why were you born to whoever you were born to and why don’t you fit into all the proscriptions and roles that you were told would ensure you a happy, fruitful life, if only you would placidly go along with the program?

Trying to be good, acceptable and right, according to whatever external standards you have bought into, may be blocking you from discovering what you really want and how you need to live.

Or perhaps, in order to survive, you have experienced painful amputations of leaving your family, marriages you promised under oath would be until death, or jobs that were supposed to be springboards to a better standard of living but in actuality, numbed your innate creativity and deadened your senses.

Whatever the scenario that brought you to this notion that you are 'different' with a negative connotation, we are about to leave behind.

You are different, diverse, distinct, unusual, special, distinguishing, varied. This is a fact not a fault. There is no need to try to convince others or waste your energy fighting and resenting the world or specific people who don’t understand you or your needs.

In order to author your own life to your specifications, you must uncover, discover and own your individual, inquiring, instinctive, passionate core self.

The door to your inner dreams and desires remains locked, until you free yourself from using all your energy to appear consistent, and to prove you are acceptable. It is time to accept your own individuality. The more visible you become to yourself, the more inconsistent you will probably appear to others. Consistency creates predictability and uniformity. That makes you safe for others and numb to yourself.

When you shatter your stultifying veneer of placid predictability, you give yourself a chance to ignite your passion. You claim your strength and unleash your power to change, flex, perceive and respond. You begin to blossom and be funded by your inner wellspring of moment-to-moment guidance and direction.

When you finally give your loyalty to yourself, you begin the process of becoming soul-centered.

Today is a great day to activate new levels of thriving. Your next task is to identify as many avenues as possible that will help you to nurture, protect, rejuvenate and ignite a new, warm, validating and enriching core identity.

What aspects of yourself do you want to open up to and embrace to further your inner and outer journey? What aspects of yourself do you want to consciously let go of to clear the way for new experiences of the delightful and insightful kind? Who can help you thrive? What creative people, projects and environments can you seek out, open to, and explore, to further your self-development?

By listening to your inner longings and claiming your birthright to a full partnership with your highest and best self, you can open to a new day and therefore, a new life, filled with the promise of fulfillment and the satisfaction of having your feet solidly planted on your unique path.

Vice is always in the active, virtue often in the passive. Frances e. Willard (1876)


When creating on my computer, I keep the spell and grammar check engaged. Once my typing is completed, I give the computer time to participate. We have a great time together. I always consider my computer’s input and then about 90% of the time, ignore its advice.

I appreciate the way it effortlessly finds and corrects misspelled words. Grammar, however, is a whole different subject. We have an on-going disagreement about active and passive, and my decision rules.

The computer highlights a portion of a sentence. Passive voice; consider revising. I respond back with; ignore. The computer gets bolder. Fragment; consider revising. My response; ignore.

No matter how many times I refuse to take my computers advice, it faithfully continues to fully participate.

Imagine if you tried to pull that off with a person? Or, let me rephrase that. Remember what happens in your friendships and significant relationships when you do that to them?

“Would you take a look at this and tell me if you see anything wrong with it?” “Okay.” “Let’s see. This is wrong and you could probably revise that to make it work better.” Your response: “No.” Five minutes later. “Would you take a look here and tell me what you think?” “ Okay.” “All this is fine; just this one area might need to be revised.” Your answer: “No.”

I love the word no. I love that my computer has no problem with being told no and stays strong and engaged even when I blatantly ignore its input. We meet up, have intense interactions, liberally use yes and no with each other and we don’t waste any time harboring unexpressed resentments, secret revenge fantasies or guilt feelings because of asking for help one minute and rejecting it the next.

Of course, there are computer crashes that seem to come out of nowhere, which could be some deep-seated denial problem that is hardwired into every computer. Perhaps, like people who go postal, computers finally get mad as hell and just can‘t take the abuse anymore.

My intent is not to make my computer or every English teacher in the country wrong. Instead, it is to introduce right use of the passive voice. Writing passively allows me to share with you in a meandering, musing, walk in the park on a beautiful Spring day kind of way, so that perhaps you can feel into new ways of being before it is time to take action.

Quiet, receptive, non-resistant openness to and acceptance of new ideas and ways of looking at our lives can create subtle and meaningful shifts in the way that we approach our daily living.

Passive tense can sometimes be the pause between breaths. Passive opens the door to allow unconscious longings and secret desires to whisper their truths.

If active and action is the Sun, passive and still is the Moon. Intuitive wisdom is enhanced by moonlight.

Passive voice opens the possibility that we can entertain thoughts that sometimes lie too deep for tears. Those mute sorrows, secret dreams and the places in us that the world we live in doesn’t comprehend or value – these are some of the outcomes that have a chance to visit when we are willing to quiet our minds and hearts enough to bathe in the passive light of the Moon.

Imagine that every problem you encounter comes to you as a special delivery package from the Problem Express Railroad. This train is filled to the brim with all manner of problems, from the inconsequential to the complex.

When you are a recipient of Problem Cargo, there are specific unpacking and handling instructions that are highly recommended to insure that your problem stays in pristine working order for as long as possible.

There are three approved methods recommended to ensure that your problem will deliver maximum chaos and upset. Though the three approaches are different, all three are guaranteed to keep the problem on the front-burner of your life.

#1 The aggressive problem-solving solution – Once the problem arrives, drop everything you are currently doing. Use all available energy at your disposal, including any other’s energy that you can enlist. Tear at the problem, rip it open and demand that it submit to your commands. This over-the-top reactive and out of control approach will go a long way to ensure your new problem will continue to produce all manner of extra and unexpected problems for as long as you stay aggressive.


#2 The submissive problem-solving solution – Pick out a prominent place where you can view your problem from all sides. The ideal resting place would be right in the line of traffic in and out of your life, so that you constantly trip over it, no matter what you are attempting to accomplish. Re-visit it often. Circle the problem but be careful not to get too close. Call to mind other similar problems that you have received in the past and how difficult and how much it required of you.

Invite friends in to view the size, color and texture of the problem and perhaps, they will even bring similar problems they have currently received. Think about the problem, feel about it, but surrender to the fact that this problem is simply too much to handle, so lock the door to any forward movement and adjust your life to fit the problem. Before you make any new life decisions, always consider the problem first.

#3 The withdrawal problem-solving solution – When the problem arrives, make believe it isn’t there. Depending on its size, there are many ways to camouflage it so that it is almost undetectable. Get real busy so that you have no time to notice it. Fill up your life with so many activities that you are never around long enough to address it properly. This works particularly well for relationship/intimacy problems.


Note: Sometimes these types of problems come equipped with audio capabilities. If you choose the withdrawal problem solution, here is a worthwhile tip. Liberally say “I love you” as you pass it by and that will silence any complaints, at least for awhile.

Are you tired of accepting problem deliveries? If so, enlist the services of the Solution Express that operates on an opposite track. The Solution train uses liberal use of the question: “Given this specific problem, what will work? This company instructs all of its customers that when you receive a problem, the best way to respond is to stop, look, listen, and then choose and continue to choose, the highest and best actions that are available from your personal storehouse of wisdom.

Prepublication copy - newspaper column -Laguna Beach Independent News - Wisdom Workout -

susanvelasquez.com

Even the most exalted states and the most exceptional spiritual accomplishments are unimportant if we cannot be happy in the most basic and ordinary ways, if we cannot touch one another and the life we have been given with our hearts. Jack Kornfield - A Path With Heart

The imagery of the heart is most often linked to feelings of love and relationships; the softer side of life’s experiences. The intellect is associated with thinking, knowledge gathering and task orientation.

In our fast moving society, matters of the heart are relegated to a back-seat position. The more production oriented we become, the more in danger we are of signing up for a life without heart.

A crucial survival skill, given our information overload, is a high level of selective perception. We only see what we deem important. What we value determines what gets our attention.

Your core values drive your decisions. Even if you are unaware of what your values are, you will consistently make your choices based on your value system.

When your core values are poorly defined or ignored, you have no solid foundation. This sets the stage for the repeated creation of upsets that can leave you confused and unhappy with your life choices.

You have the innate power to create a life that is wholesome and rewarding. When you decide to fashion a life that works, the process of taking responsibility for your choices begins. Accept both the benefits and prices of your past decisions and actions.

Push past the demand that life give you all benefits. Begin to choose what you want to create rather than merely avoiding what you don’t want.

When you are overly attached to being in control and self-assured at all costs, you set yourself up for a stilted life of pretending to have arrived somewhere, while having your creativity hijacked by unacknowledged fears and ignored emotions.

As you uncover, discover, respect, and act out of what you value, life cooperates by partnering with you to co-create a life that works.

I remember an incident with my youngest brother when he was about three. He was upstairs in his room playing when all of a sudden I heard a loud noise. When I asked him what happened, through his wailing and tears, he said: “Somebody was jumping on the bed…and I fell off!”

When you are without an internal compass of core values, you jump on the bed of life, going after what you want in the moment. When you fall off, get hurt or derailed, all you have available are your justifications as to why it wasn’t your fault.

There is simply no way to trick life into giving us all benefits and extracting no prices.

A strong working relationship with all of your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energies begins with a solid value system. Court your inner wisdom, establish your basic values, and you will find a realistic life path and a core level of happiness unfolding in your life.

Modern society concerns itself with externality, image, speed and change. Intuitive wisdom leads us to seek refined values. Real beauty shows itself as a light that comes from the soul. That light may seem elusive because we are seldom in the here and now.


Are you a prisoner of your past? Are you haunted by your future? If you are often anxious and worried, these captured states of mind may be the culprit.


Stillness is vital to the world of the soul. By quieting your mind and letting go of keeping your life at arms length, fragments of your life where your soul health is wounded, or broken, have time to heal.

You will be able to return to yourself by stepping back and beholding your present reality with the sense of wonder and appreciation that it deserves. This is a time to release any false burdens that you have dragged behind you as a way to retain a consistent sense of knowing who you are.

Eventually what you call the negative side of yourself can become the greatest force for renewal, creativity and growth within you. It is a wise person who knows where their negativity lies and yet does not become addicted to it.

When you make a firm commitment to let go of lusting after perfection, you naturally start the process of coming home to your authentic self. You ease into the process of living, instead of treating yourself like a never-ending fix-it project. You embrace your life as a reality to be experienced, rather than as a problem to be solved.

Courting your soul-light is as easy as managing the flow of electricity or light in your home. It is stressful and frustrating to have inadequate lighting in your living space. It is also wasteful to keep all of your lights on in every room, day and night, because of a misguided notion that if you turn them off, you will never be able to get them to turn back on.

Consider all the ways that you can enhance your experience by upgrading your soul-light. Is the voltage that is consistently running through your nervous system too high? You might want to consider a dimmer switch that will allow you to easily and effortlessly change your mood from harsh and relentless to soft and soothing. Instead of a burglar alert spotlight, install a warm and welcoming porch light instead.


Use your imagination to make the necessary adjustments to your personal light so that you increasingly become more comfortable and at ease.

Let your intuitive wisdom assist you to turn the harsh light of self-judgment into a spotlight of expanded creativity and self-expression.

susanvelasquez.com

There is a vast difference between knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom is a deeper way of knowing. Wisdom is the art of living in rhythm with your soul’s urgings, your life’s callings, and the unknown. The challenge that each of us face is to balance our wants with our possessions, and our ambitions with our capabilities.

Wisdom is the way that we learn to decipher the unknown, and accept its presence as a welcomed companion. Wisdom is the art of being courageous and generous with the unknown; of being able hear its whispers, and recognize its treasures.

Wisdom is the grain that comes from the mill of life. Wisdom balances the known with the unknown, the suffering with the joy. It is a way of linking the whole of life together, in a new and deeper acceptance of life’s mysteries.

Wisdom and vision are worthy partners. The spark of creativity, the fertile imagination, and the rush of excitement, are the birth children of the marriage between wisdom and vision. Wisdom resides within the territory of the soul. The soul is shy. It must be invited to come closer to you to glimpse its beauty and power.

When the harsh light of intense mental scrutiny tries to grasp and capture the definitive answer, the soul’s wisdom rushes to conceal and hide itself.

Fall, the traditional harvest season, is an excellent time to seek a renewed relationship with that still, small, voice of your inner wisdom. Quiet any insistent mind chatter, in favor of listening for the whisperings of your deeper longings. Allow your vision to be awakened and new possibilities to come alive.

It is the courageous person who is able to identify active fears and work with them as forces for creativity and growth. Developing the ability to step into the unknown and greet this emptiness with poise and grace attracts that which is new, surprising, and unexpected.

Space and time are the usual foundations of our identity. Space separates us. Time separates us. The past disappears. The future has not come yet. All we have is the little stepping-stone of the present moment. Stop, look, listen and allow your inner guidance to light your way.

Faith is an excitement and an enthusiasm, a state of intellectual magnificence which we must…not squander on our way through life in the small coin of empty words and inexact pedantic arguments.
George Sand (1

A few weeks ago, I discovered a book entitled: The Power Behind Your Eyes. It talks of the need to rest our eyes, taking periodic time outs from the task of looking so that we can see more fully those things we may be missing through the unconscious habit of hyper vigilance.

The corrective suggestions run the gamut from diet changes, exercise, refraining from sugar, alcohol and overindulging in too. Too long at the computer, too much reading, too much television and, at the other extreme, too little light, too little sleep and too tedious a hold on our preferred way of perceiving the world around us.

I decided to take on one of the suggestions, the easiest and most appealing one, which is to put the palms of my hands over my eyes while visualizing in my mind’s eye something that is particularly beautiful and energy giving to imagine.

The result of doing this simple exercise whenever I remember has been rewarding. Valuable in that whenever I do it the predominant experience I have while stopping and resting from my extended interaction with the world around me is a certain warmth that centers around my eyes and then extends and deepens into the at first slight, then increasing feeling of sadness that brings a few captured and hidden tears to the surface.

The moisture is warm and soft and little. It doesn’t morph into a downpour but just lets its presence be known as a little gift of unexpressed tenderness and acknowledgement that my eyes have been witness to the fleeting pain, disappointment, tragedy, confusion, frustration, anxiety, fear or exhaustion that is housed in many of the day to day experiences we consistently encounter.

The first time sadness visited, it came as a surprise. I didn’t know I was hosting unacknowledged and unexpressed sadness.

Time and time again sadness has come to visit. I am learning to look forward to the particular quiet and sense of unfilled space that seems to be the welcoming mat for this sensation that I am naming sad. My mind tries to jump in with the too loud and boisterous “Why are you sad?” question that sends sad scurrying undercover like a child in the presence of a thunder and lightning storm.

I take a few in and out breaths and disengage from the mental questioning in favor of letting myself sink into the quiet behind my eyes. Sure enough, as I do, I once again sense the slow, sensuous spreading of gentle warmth that begins to bring moisture and a lessening of pressure, a surrendering into nowhere and nothing, so that I can experience a decided softening into myself and a feeling of rightness and homecoming.

In case you might be thinking that this little flight of fancy might indicate that I have too much time on my hands, I suspect I am on the verge of a new personal discovery.

As I court the company of unexpressed tenderness, I feel a gentle but persistent shift happening in my awareness. I can feel a certain innocence returning to my ability to see. It is the sense of a returning sparkle of enthusiasm and faith in the beauty and magnificence of all aspects of life that constantly surrounds me.

It is a new awakening back into the simplicity of clear-sightedness that acknowledges the underpinnings of faith in the basic goodness of my life in all its twists, turns, ups and downs of energy drains and gains.

I feel a new opening to the door marked contentment and happiness of being that sits waiting for an opening to deliver its gifts of fullness and richness through the acceptance of the way things are, just as is.

You are guided and protected
You will never be rejected
You are planted on a path
That is unfolding day by day.

We are asking that the worry
That flutters in your mind
Be replaced with gentle petals
Of the soft and fragrant kind.

The struggles, they are over
And the burdens on your shoulders
Are simply dense impressions
Of a cruel and harder time.

You must no longer worry
For your path is truly set
And the hurdles that you think are there
Have no need to be met.

Susan McNeal Velasquez [

Visualization, that seeing of that which is not yet, is essential for the attainment of all the good that men may aspire to. Tehilla Lichtenstein – God In The Silence (1947)

Imagine that your mind is like a recorder. It has play, pause, and stop. There is instant replay, rewind and fast-forward. Let’s take a look at how you are using these features.

How often do you instant replay those daily incidents that didn’t go the way you wanted them? Are you like the hard-line football coach that carps on the fouled-up plays to the exclusion of everything else because “winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing?” Obsessive and aggressive attachment to appearing right or winning at all costs has nothing to do with creating a life that works.

A fulfilling life requires a wholehearted inclusion of both the stop and the pause buttons. Mastering the art of quieting and stilling your mind, sets the stage for both inspiration, and new insights.

The rewind button allows you to cultivate the courage to review your past actions. When you make peace with your past regrets, embarrassments, disappointments or resentments, as well as your life-enhancing accomplishments, you become current with your life and clear about who you are, what you need, and what you want.

The fast-forward application, when used correctly, can transform the stress producing habit of over-thinking, over-analyzing, over-explaining, and over-dramatizing problems. Instead, it can be used as a powerful visualization tool.

Have you been using your fast-forward feature as a way to avoid fully participating in your life? Do you say yes to involvements when you really mean no, and then drag yourself through the experience hoping that it will be over, fast?

Are you numbed out and disconnected, because in your mind, you already fast-forwarded through the experience and prematurely ended your participation before it even started? This behavior produces stagnant, numbing, dead or dying careers, relationships, friendships, marriages, and incompetent, inefficient, and inept institutions.

Instead, try elevating the fast-forward feature to its best use. Notice your present state of mind. Ask this question: “What specifically am I longing for?” Push the fast-forward button and allow your imagination to soar into future possibilities, where you can experience what your heart is longing to create for you.

Visit this imagined future in as much detail as you can allow yourself to envision. Then, when you are ready to come back to the present, push the re-wind button.

Just as fast-forwarding takes you quickly into the future of a movie, but doesn’t give you any of the details of how you’ve arrived there, fast-forwarding your mind provides the end result but not the process.

When you practice the art of visualizing your best future outcomes, the benefit is you instantly set a new course. Then, all that is left to do is suit up, show up, and take each step as it naturally unfolds.

Before you know it, you will be creating a life plan fostered by your willingness to play, pause, stop, rewind and fast-forward into your wisest and best-visualized future.

Life gives us what we need when we need it. Receiving what it gives us is a whole other thing.
Pam Houston – In My Next Life (1992)

When was the last time you had a heart to heart talk with Life? Have you included Life in your current game plan or are you expecting Life to read your mind? Have you been mumbling a litany of complaints under your breath so that Life is a bit wary of being criticized and judged by you rather than loved and respected?

Are you so moody that life has to slow down to a crawl and tip toe around you to avoid upsetting you? Have you been ignoring life in favor of manufacturing fantasies of how good and right you are when things are going your way and how bad and wrong you are when your idealized image of yourself is thwarted?

If any of the above resembles you, take heart. We are going to settle in and create an opportunity to include Life in our current plans and also to really listen to what Life wants us to know at this time.

We are going to accomplish this through a series of specific, formal questions that will form a communication bridge between you and your life. Here is your first question. What do you want from life that you are currently not getting? Answer the question this way. Life, what I want from you that I’m not getting is (fill in the blank). What are you currently getting from Life that you don’t want? State: Life, what I am getting from you that I don’t want is (fill in the blank).

The next question has two parts. What are you withholding from Life and what are you giving Life instead? Here is where a deeper level of self-disclosure and self-honesty is called for. Since life hasn’t been giving you what you want and has been giving you what you don’t want, you have given yourself permission to hedge and withhold from life. You have been withholding an important part of you from life and replaced it with something else. Something that seems easier and less demanding of you to give. State: Life, what I am withholding from you is (fill in the blank) and what I am giving you instead is (fill in the blank). Once you have uncovered and discovered what you have been holding back, it is time to make a new resolve to let go of withholding this important ingredient and let Life know that you are willing to step up your commitment and involvement as of today.

Now formulate a clear statement in the present tense that will let Life know that you sincerely want a new chance to deepen your partnership. Finish this statement: Life, my unspoken truth that I am now willing for you to know is that I am (fill in the blank).

Now that you have openly and honestly communicated with Life, it is time for Life to respond back to you. Take a deep breath and settle into your inner guidance and you will hear the voice of Life communicating to you. Listen closely as Life begins to answer the same questions. What I, Life, want from you that I haven’t been getting is (fill in the blank). What I, Life, am getting from you that I don’t want is (fill in the blank). What I, Life, have been withholding from you is (fill in the blank) and what I have been giving you instead is (fill in the blank).

You see, Life has been matching your shaky participation by being less than cooperative with you also. Life will now make a clear statement to you in the present tense that will acknowledge the new level of intimacy and partnership you are establishing with Life today.

Listen for the completion of this statement: I, Life, am now willing to (fill in the blank).

Know that as a result of your willingness to stop, listen and seek new understanding and knowledge, today is the dawning of a new reality and a new level of enthusiasm for life that can take hold and begin to grow. Simply bump up the music and you will discover a little known secret about life. Life loves to dance.

Inner freedom is not a matter of adding anything. It is purely a ridding experience. Vernon Howard (1965)


We have four ways of experiencing our lives. Our physical bodies let us move, speak, hear, see, taste, and touch. We have an emotional body so that we can receive and experience a range of feelings and engage in life with receptivity and curiosity.

Your mental body can imagine, accumulate knowledge, make plans, focus and problem-solve. You also have a spiritual body that houses your inner blueprint and your connection to the wellspring of life’s source.

Let’s imagine that at a young age, you observed others and landed on the idea that the purpose of life is to keep busy and use your physical, mental and emotional energies to get as many possessions as you can.

You learn to use your physical energy to do whatever is needed to attain as much as possible. Mentally, you acquire knowledge in as many areas as you can. You supply focused mental energy, and use your imagination to set bigger goals for future achievements. Your list of accomplishments continues to grow.

Emotionally, you ride the roller coaster of a wide range of emotions. You experience the thrill of winning and the agony of losing. You weather painful disappointments and defeats as well as exhilarating and ego-inflating successes.

All of your actions help to fulfill the underlying and unchallenged dictate to accumulate more, bigger and better possessions and experiences.

The next question that naturally surfaces is “What about my spiritual body?” Can spiritual energy be harnessed and used to accumulate material goals?

Many are diligently giving that a try. It is perfectly fine to fill your life to the brim . What you bring into your life has more to do with your personal preferences than anything more than that.

You can only eat one meal at a time. You can only integrate one experience at a time. Therefore, the amount of things and experiences you accumulate has to do with how much you are willing to manage.

Imagine that your spiritual energy is like a still, fathomless, crystal clear body of water that beckons you to come and rest for a while. As it welcomes you, it asks you to gaze into this pondering pool. As you settle in, you begin to see the essence of who you are reflected back to you.

The purpose of this respite is to shift your focus from the external world and turn inward to begin the process of opening your mind, softening your heart, and deepening your willingness to receive guidance and new directions from a deeper source.

Perhaps it is time to turn your attention away from producing external outcomes for a little while. Allow yourself to rest. Refresh your tired, problem-solving mind, your weary emotions, and/or your depleted, physical body.

Breathe in and out. Rest in the arms of the present moment. Let go of frantically pushing ahead.

Allow your innocence to return by acknowledging your basic goodness and the basic goodness of your life. Surrender into the healing waters of the present.

What you are seeking is also seeking you.

Tucked safe in the nest
Of the chamber of truth
Lies the essence or kernel of life.
It burns like an ember, a glowing touchstone
Filled out, fully formed and pulsating.

It waits for the traveler who comes from the North
Through the thickets and thorns of wily grown paths
Of despair and non-care and the rest.
Determined to dive to the depths of their soul
No matter how long or exhausting the quest.

This place that holds magic is guarded by demons
And monsters and dragons of fear
That scare up the pictures of death and damnation,
Abandonment, loss and complete annihilation
And strip away padding and ornate protections
Fashioned of cloth and solid reflections
Of ego-filled notions kept tightly in place.

In order to enter this chamber of wonder
The traveler strips off the skin of what’s known.
And comes to the core of creation unhindered
Humbled and touched and alone.

To sit in the stillness and soak up the light
That is given, bestowed as a source of delight.
It asks nothing more than to be taken within
As a source of creation housed under the skin.

It waits in the darkness; the sorcerer’s stone
And can only be reached when we seek our true home.

Susan McNeal Velasquez

Like love, travel makes you innocent again. Diane Ackerman – The Moon by Whale Light (1991)


Sad and Mad have decided to take a vacation together. They have collected brochures that highlight exotic locations and have mutually agreed that it would be enriching to visit a place that exists beyond the irritations, resentments, grudges, and upsets that feed their day-to-day attitudes towards life.

They are going to visit the Land of Lightheartedness. Neither of them are seasoned travelers but they have done enough research to be reasonably assured that they are going to enjoy themselves.

They thought it would be a timely idea to take a break from the people and events that currently define their present experience of themselves as “same, old” Sad and Mad. They will start their journey by leaving their past injuries home and detaching from all the unresolved situations, and upsetting issues that normally define how they think and feel about their lives.

They want to escape from being trapped in rigid thought patterns and hard-hearted, defensive feelings, which is their habitual way of trying to stay in control and invulnerable.

This is an adventure of a lifetime. Since both are experts in their specialty of evoking and elevating the experience of sad and mad, they decide to commit to leaving all of their normal business clothes that are fashioned from critical, punitive judgments and uncontrolled outbursts of anger and tears, at home. They begin packing their suitcases with healing and powerful medicines of patience and generosity. They carefully include a healthy dose of grace and a generous supply of compassion that will see them through the entire trip.

They have decided to channel their emotions by refraining from punitive mutterings that lead to Mad acting resentful and critical and Sad retaliating by being passive aggressive and pitiful.

Mad intends to replace her famous arched eyebrow and pursed lips with random smiles and soft, kissable lips, while Sad suspects that his best bet is to dust off his curiosity and put a spring into his normal hesitant shuffle, as they courageously drop one obsession after another.

A few days into their vacation, the heart hurts and worries that normally limit their ability to enjoy their lives begin to fade into the background. They are relishing their freedom as the new landscapes continuously spark creative thinking, instead of the old, boring dramas of their past.

To their surprise, this new Land of Lightheartedness is effortlessly allowing the old, upsetting emotions surrounding past memories, to finally rest, settle down, and relax.

Mad is diligently developing the skill of refusing to summon up the fiery material, and her reward is that she is actually unwinding and relaxing instead of whipping up a frenzy of repetitive thoughts, pictures, or emotions of the negative kind. Sad is filled with a newfound happiness as he distances from his regimen of swimming copious laps in the cesspool of morbid and muddled hurts, slights and mishaps that have kept his misery muscles tight and taut.

They bask in the sunshine of budding forgiveness. They are opening, allowing and accepting the healing fruits of their conscious decision to cease nursing resentments and arguing for their limitations.They are becoming the deciders, instead of the victims. They finally realize that they have the power to choose when to forgive and how to do it. Their new creative life is being birthed.

They immerse themselves in the culture of Lightheartedness. They choose to invest in a few blanket pardons. They indulge themselves in new delights and pleasures. This results in their being able to easily elevate and expand their thinking so much that they can clearly see that being glad and grateful for their new experiences, leaves them little inclination to wallow in the past.

Sad and Mad have returned from their trip with new vitality, enthusiasm and a zest for living.

The biggest gift from this timely vacation is the newly found wisdom to realize that forgiving means giving up being cold, removed and disconnected in favor of inviting Lighthearted and Relaxed as gracious and vital additions to a happy and healthy life.

The feeling of comfort like a warm breeze
That comes from inside when your heart’s really pleased.

A sense of belonging right where you are
So that home base and friendship are never too far.

The flutter of movement that new ideas bring
To the space in your mind with imaginative wings.

Connections that bypass restrictions of time
Freed to dance to the music of rhythm and rhyme.

An alchemist’s talent to convert your pain
From storm clouds and thunder to life-giving rain.

The continuing unfoldment of life as an art
That follows a cadence that flows from your heart.

A path that appears not a moment too late
Or too soon or too long or blocked off by a gate.

A purpose backlighted with glistening grace
That allows you to savor your sacred life space.

Susan McNeal Velasquez